The Widow’s Walk

*Seize the opportunity to serve

 *So as we focus on Christ, we also are to focus on those He has brought into our lives. We should maximize our liberty in Christ by loving people through service:”…serve one another through love. For the entire law is fulfilled in one statement:’Love your neighbor as yourself'”(Gal. 5:13c-14).

  One of the top-ranking adjustments to widowhood has been not being a “WE”. In conversation that “we entity” is just there. My husband and I did everything together. Concerning joining in a church trip someone stated:”She doesn’t go anywhere without her husband.” I still feel that way. My tastes now are a melding of what “we” liked. My color preferences are “ours”. I decorated sparsely, in white before our marriage . I now run my hand over the wooden pieces with appreciation and the memories of acquiring each item.

  My husband was a pack-rat. With each move we had to give things away . Every item had significance to him. We did not merely donate but gave things away to people and organizations that really enjoyed them. We lugged around his tools long after his health allowed him to use them. With duress my husband allowed “UTurn for Christ”, a men’s home for Christian men transitioning from the prisons,to come and pick up his tools. As he watched the men go through the tons of tools he was elated! Those men were so appreciative and amazed at my husbands generosity. All of them where in need of their own tools for jobs they where doing.

  Gal. 6:10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith.

  So, it’s time to broaden the “We”. How can I best serve my church members, my neighbors, my friends, my family? The opportunities to serve are endless.

   If ever I love Thee, My Jesus, ’tis now.

The Widow’s Walk

*RELATIONSHIPS GROW DEEPER WITH FORGIVENESS.

MATT 18

   My husband had battled “Anger Issues” throughout his life. He would holler like the Marine he was. Fists to his sides-chest pushed forward- getting as close as possible- hollering at the top of his lungs. I couldn’t help but laugh. I’m trying not to laugh right now. He was good-spirited enough to see the comedy in it. With-in a few minutes he would apologize and I would reciprocate. We were so well matched on so many levels in our walk.

  Before our marriage commitment I wouldn’t let go of a grudge. My study this week describes me ; “We wrongly rationalize postponing forgiveness or withholding grace to ‘teach the offender a lesson.’ We think our offer of forgiveness sends the wrong message- if I forgive he will think I am condoning his behavior- thus contributing to his downfall and would allow him to hurt me again. When I think of the amount of relationships I merely “tough loved” away I’m mortified.

  *God makes forgiveness available for everyone, but only those who appropriate it by a life of forgiving others show that they have genuinely accepted His pardon.

   My husband and I both came from families with anger and unforgiving. Yet we both had fathers who were kind and forgiving. It never ceases to amaze me as I experience the unveiling of God’s plan in my life.  We often wondered why it was mainly “just the two of us”.  God has a lot of work to be done!

  Having had those last weeks together before my husband passed. I was able to apologize for different things. We were pretty much alone till the end. It softened our remaining time together.

  I’ve battled guilt off and on. Always questioning if I had done all that I could have done. God has unveiled His plan showing me how He had trained me from my 20’s to care for respiratory patients when I was a massage therapist. He trained me to understand my husbands frontal lobe damage by having me work with the disabled. Both my husband and I had a close relationship with a victim of COPD and her family, where we learned all we needed to care for him at advanced stages. Step by step He trained me to care for my husband.

  I am grateful for the 12yrs. I was gifted with my husband. Gratitude is the only solvent I have found for the extreme pain and loneliness I feel since my husbands exit.

The Widow’s Walk

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,                                                                                and make me willing to obey you.      Psalm 51:12

“We are created to live in relationship with others, and there is a hunger for affirmation. We need a healthy supply of encouragement from others in order to grow as God intends.”

When asked who his favorite person, besides Jesus, was in the Bible, my husband always answered without hesitation, “BARNABAS!”. Joseph of Cyprus, nicknamed “Son of Encouragement”. Just the mention of his name would bring a beaming smile to his face.

It was Barnabas who brought Saul to the Apostles. I can only imagine how hard that was for the Apostles to meet Saul. Acts 9:26-28

“To be a Christian was to accept the road of suffering, but it was a journey they made with Joy.”

It says of Barnabas in Acts 11:24″ for he was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And large numbers were added to the Lord.”

I knew my husband as a Barnabas in my life as well as in many other lives he touched. I realize now how dependent I had become on him for motivation. It broke my heart to hear a friend, who has been recently widowed, describe herself as “the sluggish one”.I understand. I wonder if it’s a grief symptom or lack of encouragement. Just to hear “let’s go” or that instant eye contact or that way we had of touching the back of our hands together…..

“And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works.” Hebrews 10:24  Amen

The Widow’s Walk

Mother’s Day, May 10                   Pastor Joe’s sermon

I’ve always been drawn to the Bible characters who had been barren for most of their lives, then God gifts them with a child. My only pregnancy was a miscarriage. So, when my husband and I married there was always this hope for a miracle. We made jokes about it and teased each other. But in my heart I hoped for a child of our own or an opportunity to be involved in a my husbands grandchildren’s lives. It just didn’t happen, though it was made clear to me soon after being born again that I would see my daughter in heaven. That gives me great Joy.

Pastor’s sermon on Sunday looked at Hannah’s relationship with God in a way I hadn’t heard discussed before. From memory I remember her fervent prayer that sounded to Eli like she was drunk – Eli praying for her- dedicating him to God- giving him to Eli- then on to Eli’s awful sons story.

Hannah’s prayer of praise in chapter 2 shows us how she saw God as Solid as a rock(2:2) The One who knows what we do (2:3) Sovereign over all the affairs of His people (2:4-8) the Supreme Judge who administers perfect justice. She rejoiced in God’s salvation. She knew her child was on loan from God. Hannah’s prayer show’s us that all we have and receive is on loan from God.

The role of the husband and the other wife’s competitiveness and derision drove Hannah to prayer. The husband’s simple love allowed Hannah to entrust their child into God’s care. We can be confident of God’s ultimate control over the events in our lives.

There’s comments that Mary, the mother of Jesus, modeled her own praise song, The Magnificat, after Hannah’s prayer. Luke 1:46-55. I find it interesting that Joachim and Anna, Mary’s parents, are reported in the Apocrypha as having a similar experience of late in life conception. Also Mary visited Elizabeth while pregnant. Elizabeth and Zechariah, John The Baptist’s parents, had conceived late in life.

By dedicating her only son to God, Hannah was dedicating her entire future to God! She was dedicating Samuel to God for lifetime service. God honored Hannah’s faithfulness with 5 other children (2:21). Hannah visited Samual every year (2:17) Later Samuel lived in his hometown of Ramah (7:17) .

My husband and I both thought it would have been fun if we could of raised a child together. I’m so grateful He gave us each other to grow up together in His care. Both of us hungry for His Word and marveled at His hand in our lives. I really missed my husband today while I delved into Hannah’s Prayer Of Praise.

God is Good All the Time. Amen

The Widow’s Walk

*The Point:   LET LOVE PERMEATE EVERY RELATIONSHIP

*Jesus said in John15:9-10  “As the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you. Remain in My love. If you keep My commands you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commands and remain in His love.”

*Key Word: REMAIN (v.9)- A believer’s continual connection to Christ, like branches to a vine, is necessary for spiritual health and yields the fruit of love for others.

My husband’s favorite wedding gift is a wall clock from G&B. It’s been ticking on steadily for 12yrs. It’s not too big, not too heavy and the numerals are easily recognizable without being too in your face. Of course it is surrounded in wood, thus rendering it perfect for my husband. This clock has been always the last thing packed and the first thing put up with every move we had made. (5 moves) This clock has always been positioned just so. You must be able to see it as you leave and enter the house, and view-able from the TV. It was important for my husband to extend the courtesy of being on time. We where often early thus able to be relaxed and settled for any appointment.

*THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS WILL ALWAYS BE TIED TO THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.

* Obedience to God is the crucial factor in bearing fresh fruit in the lives of other people. Your commitment to Jesus’ commands is the linchpin to producing life in those around you (vv.5-8).

I had joined a Sunday School class at our Baptist church , after my husbands death, made up of single women. It wasn’t a good fit for me. Divorced and unwed women have nothing in common with widow’s, I’ve learned. Nor do they have the patience I need. (God has given me two widowed doctors. What a gift!) So I will join another class of mostly couples. The starred excerpts are from the Quarterly they are using which is all about Jesus!  It’s called: LIKE NO OTHER: THE LIFE OF CHRIST                                                                             LIKE GLUE: MAKING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS STICK                     It’s strange to me that the teacher is out for back surgery. It will be weeks before he will return. His wife does not feel called to teach. I love studying on my own. I can see and understand the deeper relationship building again with the Trinity. I can also see that during the twelve years the clock was ticking my study was and relationship with my Lord was not nearly as consuming. Though my husband and I walked together with Jesus and we welcomed Him in our home, I did not spend these hours in His Word.

*THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS WILL ALWAYS BE TIED TO THE QUALITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.

I’m so grateful for the study habits I had developed through “Bible Study Fellowship” before the clock was hung.

*Jesus made it very clear in John 15 that there is an ocean-sized reservoir of love, but it doesn’t begin with us. Love is found in God. We must drink from the deep well of the heavenly Father’s supply if we ever hope to pour meaningfully into the lives of others.

The Widow’s Walk

 Breathe on me, Breath of God,                                                                                           fill me with life anew,                                                                                              that I may love what thou dost love,                                                                                 and do what thou wouldst do.

Breathe on me , Breath of God,                                                                                           until my heart is pure,                                                                                             until my will is one with thine,                                                                                             to do and to endure.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Breathe on me, Breath of God,                                                                                             till I am wholly thine,                                                                                               until this earthly part of me                                                                                                 glows with thy fire divine.

Breathe on me, Breathe of God,                                                                                           so shall I never die,                                                                                                 but live with thee the perfect life                                                                                         of thine eternity. 

 

Paul explains in Ephesians what it means to be “In Christ”. It’s all there… in Him. Everything you need for victorious living is in Jesus.

Colossians 1:13 tells us God”has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves.” If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you used to belong to Satan’s kingdom, but now you are part of a new kingdom, and Jesus is the King. Satan can do nothing to remove you from God’s kingdom, but he will do his best to get you to ignore the kingdom rule of Jesus Christ!

My husband and I were both new on our Christian walk when we married. God awed us with the lighted way He directed us on. He immediately pushed us into strong teaching and in depth Bible study. He gave us loving Christian couples to be examples and mentors for us.

My heart swells going over the memory of my husbands battle with the world. He was so candid, much more than I was. God would find ways to use his struggles immediately, thus validating his actions.

Our first argument was before we married. My husband used to look at women on the street. He didn’t see it as pornography. He spoke the worlds view that “God gave beautiful women to men to appreciate”. I know that it took alot of prayer and help from other Christian men to help him in that battle. I also heard him speak to other men of his ongoing battle. It’s horrible to me how the world blasts men with pornography everywhere , from every direction. By the end of his life we had changed completely our forms of entertainment.

We where married only one month when my husband had to use oxygen, a consequence of smoking. He retired soon after and we went to the Sierra’s where God used him as an Ombudsman. 

My husband had been clean and sober, and had “run the AA program” in his life for over 30yrs. by the time we married. God used him to teach Celebrate Recovery in our church and in the Placerville jail.  His choices were validated over and over. It never ceases to amaze me how God can use our experiences, good and bad, to further His kingdom. 

My husband did not retire until the last year of his life. The doctors didn’t seem to think he was that close, but he knew. He was ready, without fear. I can imagine him hearing,”Well done my faithful one”.