FAITH IS NOT ABOUT HAVING A PERFECT LIFE. BUT ABOUT KNOWING OUR PERFECT GOD.

NEVER LOOK FOR JUSTICE. BUT, NEVER CEASE TO GIVE IT.

FAITH MAKES THINGS POSSIBLE, NOT EASY.

While looking through my notebook for a quote or something, my eyes stopped on my husband’s handwriting. I had asked him to jot down these truths and principles from a Sunday listening to TV preachers. In the last 2 years of his life we worshiped at home more and more. Not being able to get up and get to church at first was a hardship for him. Towards the end we both really enjoyed our time with The Word together. We had certain preachers we listened to over the years while getting ready for church. so when we started to stay home we hunkered done with notebooks and gave ourselves a basis of study for the week.

My husband read the Bible everyday. We had always fashioned an office space for him. That area would become quite elaborate. Decorated with mementos and curios from his life. He had a large library when we first married with books and lots of music. I had to insist on cutting back with each move when it had become up to me solely to pack and carry them  as his health declined.

I keep a number of my husbands things that he treasured and that speak of  his personality. A very old 3″x4″ picture of Christ with His sheep, a small cloth frog, a wind up monkey, an old dictionary held together by duct tape have remained in sight blurred by tears.

I miss his music stand and the sound of his voice reading psalms to our parakeet out loud.

His office was also his dispensary. He took his blood sugar and managed his meds there. Thus he had to be there twice a day. His Bible’s always within reach. His office was always a place of peace for him. In this house, for his last years, I had room to have my desk right next to his.

A recent widow, I love, who is going through those horrific first months of her dear husband’s death, has read “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis. I’ve started it.I don’t think I can read it straight through. I read a little than put it down, it appears he wrote it that way. He talks about the laziness of grief; that he loathes the slightest effort. I’m grateful for his own candidness. He says,”Perhaps the bereaved ought to be isolated in special settlements like lepers.”. I agree.

In Lewis’ first pages he says, “Meanwhile, where is God?”. I am so grateful my own experience has been quite different. I have never been more aware of God’s hand in my life. Throughout these past 10 mos. He has been my sole comfort. He has made Himself obvious as He gently prods me from pillar to post. Just this morning a question from only a week ago was answered by a TV preacher in his sermon.

Max Lucado in “A Gentle Thunder”, says regarding Mark 6:46-52:

” So what does God do while we are enduring the pain? What does He do while we are in the storm? You’ll love this. He prays for us. Jesus wasn’t in the boat because He had gone to the hills to pray, Jesus prayed.”

Mark 6:50b&51a  But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage! I am here!” Then He climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped.